Life feels so random at times. Like we are just lost in a riptide or a seed from a dandelion caught in a strong wind. We can't help but feel like there is nothing we can do to change the way things feel or are. This may be true in the short game, but I don't believe for a second that it is true for the long run. We always have choices and chances we can take to change our lives.
There are actually Six "C"s I like to think about when I'm in that hopeless or lost state of mind. The three most obvious I've already mentioned, but the other three are just as important in my world.
1: Choice
2: Chance
3: Change
4: Clash
5: Combination
6: Control
As I face a new trial or struggle, I know I have choices to make. We will always have choices. We chose what got us where we are. We will choose what we do in the moment, and we will ultimately choose where we go in the future. That much is certain, but what is left to question is what sense of control we have of the whole ordeal.
With myself, I believe every choice I make has 2 results. Either it will cause problems or tension in my life (clash) or it will make my life better or more productive (combination). Usually, if it is thought out, I can guess which direction it will go giving me a sense of control to some extent.
Most of the time we all are very aware of what kind of bed we are making for ourselves as we interact with the world around us. Maybe it's as simple as posting a picture on social media. We know the general reaction when we put up a post about puppy's vs posting a politically motivated image. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out which of the 2 will be will received.
Sometimes it isn't black and white. Every now and then you come across a crossroads in your life that just leaves you in the unknown. You will be forced to make a choice that has no direct answer. You have to choose whether or not to take a chance on something you can't clearly understand the impact of.
This could be letting someone get close to you after being hurt. Maybe you've been cheated on and find yourself comparing everyone you meet to the person who hurt you. Obviously in your world, dating feels like a big chance, but if your ambition is to one day settle down with someone, you have to take that chance or you will never have the opportunity to meet the right person.
For me it was a career change and living with the uncertainty of being an entrepreneur. I wasn't happy where I was and with what I was doing and I took on the fear and weight of the unknown. I gave up the security of a steady paycheck in hopes I could find a way to climb higher.
So now my life has more chaos. I work ungodly hours with no boss to keep me in line and I have to figure out ways to make ends meet no matter how hard it seems. I should be losing my mind. In all reality, most probably think I have lost my mind. Sometimes, I agree with them.
The one thing that remains constant is that this is my choice. Even when if feels like I can't see whats next, I still feel more control now than I ever did before. I spent so much time waiting for something to change in my life that I forgot where the change needs to come from. I forgot what I was really after and who I wanted to be. I needed to become the change I was looking for.
It wasn't the world that turned a temporary job into a full time career for nine years of my life. That was my choice. It clashed with my real ambitions but I chose to stay because it was easier. It unintentionally changed my path. In all reality, it got my family through a lot, but the part that remained was that there was only so high I could climb without sacrificing more than I ever would be willing to. I was trying to live a double life. I was trying to be a part of someone else's machine while burning the midnight oil to keep my little engine barely running.
After being with that company for so long, I became dependent on it. Like a drug of security, I became content with the steady paycheck and being able to plan my bills out in an orderly way even though I was barely able to make ends meet. Content and happy aren't the same thing though and when I finally had enough of doing something that brought me no more than a paycheck that barely got us by, it was time to enter that unknown and make the choice to take a real chance to change my life again.
So now I make choices on a daily basis. I take chances and when the combine with my goals and objectives for that week, month, or year, I double down on them. If I feel like they clash too much with what I want to build, I step back and reevaluate. It's just part of growing and developing what it is I'm trying to build. It's just forgetting the need for certainty and security.
Certainty isn't one of my six "C"s for a reason. It doesn't exist. Nothing in this life is guaranteed unless you are talking about the end. We only have one life to live. As I get older and see more people I respect and love pass on, I can't help but wonder what we waste so much time worrying about. I can't help but wonder how many people die without ever starting what it is they always wanted to do. You don't have to know what will happen in order to start. Just start, the world will catch up.
Why is anyone what you see them as? What makes them who and what they are? It's simply because that's what you know them to do. It isn't about being perfect or having all the answers. You are what you work on becoming. No one chooses that but you. No one can turn you into anything unless you choose to let them. You are and always will be in complete control.
The mistake we make is misunderstanding this concept of control. We think it means always having the answer or being able to know in advance what is coming. It has absolutely nothing to do with that at all. We are always in control. Every decision we make is our own and even the things we can't influence, we choose how we react to it.
We choose whether or not to let a situation escalate or dissipate. We are all very aware when we are fanning the flames of a problem or working to cool down the situation. Every one of us has a personal responsibility to ask ourselves what it is we want to give to this world. We can choose to make excuses for our downfalls or start building the means to get up and leave them behind us.
Too many people spend so much time living in their pasts that they have forgotten they are no longer there. Mistakes are part of life and we have the ability to be great from this day forward. As far as I know, they haven't come up with the means to go back and change anything, so we have to be able to learn to choose our futures.
Control is in making a continual habit of making choices and taking chances. Then making the choice how to react by letting things clash or combine with your life as you move forward. Everyone has their baggage and their "tough life story" to tell, but you can choose whether it's the story of the hero or the damsel. Both have hardship, but are very different in how they reacted to their trials. So What Do You Choose?
